Easy, Seagal. Why? Simple. Not only will Seagal give you the most holy beat down of your life, but he'll make you a better person in the process. Chuck just leaves you there lying unconcious. You wake up, he's gone, and you go about your life as if the uppercut never happened. Seagal, on the other hand, will spice up each roundhouse kick and elephants throat stomp with tidbits of life changing advice.
Usually it happens like this: Man throws cigarette butt on ground. Seagal politely slaps him in the face and mentions that there is a garbage can located around the corner. Man laughs. Seagal doesn't find anything funny. Man recieves a frontal snap kick that sends him back in time. Seagal tells the man that small animals can mistake the cigarette butt for food and choke them selves. Man understands Seagals concerns and apologizes for not being sensitive to mother earth. Man quits his job at the oil refinery. Man volunteers teaching children how to clean up their community. Man receives The Medal of Freedom, the highest honor bestowed on any civilian. Millionair super-model Gisele dumps Tom Brady and marries man.
Thats how it usually happens.
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